Hangified Modman (part 1)


Before my inconvenient hiatus, I revealed what the “E” in M.E.S.S. stood for: entitled. I promised I’d elaborate on that, so today let’s resume as promised…

Entitlement isn’t always wrong. People mainly use it derogatorily though, so we view it as such. More to the point, we—living the humble pleb life—associate it with negativity because people frequently use it negatively…

“Stop holding up the line you entitled jerk!”

Some guy in line at Tim Hortons


“Ugh, the selfish, entitled jerk took all the Honey Crüllers.”

A different guy in line at Tim Hortons (perhaps even me)

Now, it doesn’t matter from where I’ve drawn these examples, but I think you get the sentiment behind how people use entitled day in, day out. No seriously, it doesn’t matter that this came up at a Tim hortons while waiting in line behind some guy who ordered coffe by the box and needed two, giant, plastic bags for the doughnuts he was buying—or that honey crüllers are the only doughnuts worth eating; what matters is that people frequently use the word entitled when frustrated…

NOTE: To those unfamiliar with the lovely, national treasure that we Canadians call Tim Hortons (through our gritted teeth and throbbing migraines), here's my unofficial slogan for the coffee shop:

If your food ain't better, it better be cheaper...

Anyway, people still use the word positively though, or imbue it with positivity on some occasions:

“Hey jackass! I’m entitled to my opinion”

Same angry guy in line


“What do you mean you can’t break a fifty? This is legal tender. I’m entitled to use this to buy a small double double!”

A different scumbag holding up the line
NOTE: A Double double (at Tim Hortons) is a coffee with two cream, two sugar. Some claim it's actually a coffee with two milk, two sugar, but some people don't know what they're talking about. Coincidentally, they're the same naysayers who claim that the story of that one guy who ordered the Gretzky this one time was just an urban legend... People are so negative. 
    note within NOTE: Wayne Gretzky's jersey number was 99... 

See, positivity! People use entitled positively all th—wait… I think my mind’s still stuck on the same crappy inciden… Well, this is awkward; I guess have no positive examples of “entitled”—I guess that’s why that’s the “E” in M.E.S.S. Wait! I actually have a decent example, but it’s from the mid-to-late 2000s—so it might be a little outdated. Let’s try that instead:

Sometime in the mid-2000’s I volunteered at a chess day camp. Yes, I said chess. Picture summer day camp meets chess lessons—there you go! Honestly, it functioned more like chess lessons that doubled as daycare for parents who wanted a break from their kids, yet insisted they just wanted to enrich their precious kids’ lives. Yeah, okay there buddy…

I can’t point to one specific reason as to why I started volunteering there, but that doesn’t matter for this story. What matters now is that I learned more than I expected. Moreover, I didn’t expect it to impact me enough to write about it a few decades later…

When volunteering, people told me that leaving the radio on would help me get through the day. Unfortunately, people don’t know what they’re talking about most times. Rather, their advice seldom helps me specifically; their advice might work better for others…

Between listening to every radio station playing “Turn Me On” (the one by Kevin Lyttle) ad nauseam, and listening to my co-workers gush about Kevin Lyttle, I realized that the advice about leaving the radio on worked for my co-workers—twenty-something-year-old women working there. For me—a twelve-to-fourteen year old dude volunteering there—it convinced me I’d discovered the soundtrack to hell…

NOTE: I was somewhere between twelve and fourteen years old then. I was also dude. Now I'm no longer between twelve and fourteen—still a dude though. It also taught me that I'd put up with that racket to get noticed by women, but that's probably not going to matter for this story...

This created a strange dynamic where I was eager to teach and/or help the kids out—while the others were focussed on sending kids my way while they tried looking busy. Okay, that’s unfair—my boss was actually busy, but everything else still applies…

Next post we’ll resume with part 2: the first incident that set the tone for the rest of the camp.

Thank you for your time,
Roybert S. Henanigans

NOTE 0: I’m supposed to promote myself here. Like, comment, subscribe, yell at me via email (please make any vitriol entertaining).

NOTE 96: I’ve updated my Contact Me page explaining how you can help me if you choose to. This includes a messaging form, my gmail address, my Twitter account, and a donation button to my Ko-Fi page. I’ll update specifics gradually!

2 thoughts on “Hangified Modman (part 1)

  1. Thanks for explaining the phenomenon that is Tim Horton’s. Given that we don’t have that here in Germany, I was a bit confused as to what’s so special about that place. Turns out: It’s cheap. Lovely.
    God, I hate Kevin Lyttle’s voice but I get what you mean by that statement later. Leaving the radio on for other girls and putting up with their bad taste in music often leads to more attention than if you just turn off because you can’t listen to “Call Me Maybe” for yet another time…

    On another note, glad to have ya back, Roybert S. Henanigans (god damnit)! Looking forward to your next post!

    Liked by 1 person

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