This is a small post with an accurate title.
The Indelible Sulk—part 6 (Explaining part 5)
Looking back now, I realize how bad things were… Unfortunately, back then I didn’t—and I wouldn’t for another 2-3 months… I didn’t know it was pathological. I didn’t know it was abnormal… I didn’t even know the concept existed. How do you solve a problem you don’t even know exists? Just describing it fails to convey my point—that’s why I walked you through an example last time. In case it wasn’t clear, I didn’t need therapy was the intrusive thought. Admittedly, I altered its frequency to ensure readability: I omitted most instances—but left enough to convey my point.
NOTE: I included enough to mildly irritate you, but not enough to quit reading… Well, that's what I aimed for… I realize that I'll never truly know if I succeeded. I'd mainly hear from people who persevered through that, but I'd never hear from the people who stopped reading my work: I'm not accomplished enough for hate mail… yet… Anyway, back to accomplishing enough to receive hate mail…
For me, intrusive thoughts aren’t intermittent; they’re “intermittent.” They’re background noise that intermittently hijack my full attention, but they’re always there… It’s a question of “how much must I focus to contain them?” After years of therapy, I deal with them reliably (albeit temporarily). I mitigate their downsides enough to function—but not well enough to claim that I’m an asset to society. Yes, it still sucks to deal with, but I can move forward with my life. Before therapy, they were significantly worse.
What do I mean by significantly worse? They overwhelmed me; they controlled my life. I lacked skills to cope with them; I didn’t even know coping strategies existed! I didn’t know that people could—through hard work and professional guidance—develop effective skills to cope with them. So, when I say significantly worse, I mean that they were so bad that they gradually forced me into therapy…
I hope this framed my previous post well enough to continue my story… If not, my bad, but I’m continuing anyway…
NOTE: If not, just let me know and I'll try to resolve it. (serious)
Thank you for your time,
Roybert S. Henanigans
P.S. 96: I’ve updated my Contact Me page explaining how you can help me if you choose to. This includes a messaging form, my gmail address, my Twitter account, and a donation button to my Ko-Fi page. I’ll update specifics gradually. If there’s one thing I could ask for above all else, I’d ask for two—then I’d use one of those two to say that the best way to help is to share my work with someone.
On a serious note, thank you so much for reading—it truly means the world to me!